Hello? Is This Happiness?
by Molly-Dolly00
Summary: He always has had a demon with him, but it takes a certain light, one blinding enough, to chase that demon away. Only a person bright enough could save Killua from the dark corners of his own mind. Only a person strong enough can catch Killua after he falls, falls after exposing himself of his own demons. Without demons, Hello? Is that Happiness? **Bad Summary but give it a try**
1. Chapter 1

"Leorio, i'm not joking. I'm not talking to him. I don't care, he knows what he did wrong. I'm not doing this, and i'm sure as hell not doing it now." The white haired teen spoke into the phone. "Killua, you're being unreasonable. He was angry, what he did may have not been right, but you can't just walk out on him. Not now. He was upset and angry, when you're angry you do stupid things. You've done stupid things when angry!" Leorio sighed. "But you damn well know this is a whole different situation. I don't have to do anything. I can't stay and watch him."

"Onii-chan! I made dinner! Come look! Look!" Alluka called with a bright smile. Killua looked at her and smiled. "Hey, Leorio I have to go." Then he hung up without waiting for a response, pushing off of the wall to sit at the small table with his sister. She always knew how to make him smile. She knew him better than he knew himself.

Alluka and Killua had been living in the small 2 bedroom apartment for almost a year now. Killua left his abusive home and took his sister with him and never turned back. They moved to YorkNew and Killua applied for a scholarship, and they granted him a scholarship to York New high. The best school in YorkNew city! The scholarship also granted him their living accommodations. Which fixed two of his 4 major problems, which happened after he left home. The 2 being fixed were somewhere to live and for him to finish school so he could get a good job once he graduated in the next few months. But 2 problems still remained; finding a second job, and being able to find a place to live after he graduated. But those problems Killua put in the back of his mind. He didn't want to have to think about those yet. But he still was anxious about them. Other problems Killua worried about were staying under the grid so his family can't find him or Alluka, and balancing the money he did bring in with, groceries, Alluka's needs and medical bills, and his own prescriptions. When he was younger and his "family" still did things for Killua, they brought him to a doctor who diagnosed him with Clinical depression when he was only 12. He's been on and off pills, since then. He is now 17, turning 18 next month, and he hadn't been able to afford his pills in about a month. He had done everything he could and tried everything the internet suggested. Meditation, journaling, music, working out, but it still didn't rid him of the effects of his depression. But he kept trying, even when he was ready to give up entirely. Alluka kept him going. She was his light, the most precious thing he had. The one thing that no one could take away, the one thing no one would ever take made sure of that.

"Onii-chan, what's wrong?" Killua snapped out of his spiraling thoughts. He plastered a smile on, "Nothing Alluka, sorry. What did you make?" Alluka smiled, "I made your favourite! I made spaghetti and chocolate chip cookies!" Killua's face turned into a cat like smile, "Chocolate you say? I think I should just eat those!" Alluka glared. "I made spaghetti, you're going to eat that too." Killua snickered, and pulled the bag of cookies up from behind his back. Alluka gasps,"How did you get those?!" Killua shrugged and ate a cookie. Alluka laughs and tries to reach for the bag but fails. Alluka's eyebrows furrow and she pouts her bottom lip. Killua laughs and throws her a cookie. She smiles, taking a bite.. "Mhm these aren't that bad!" "When have you, Alluka, ever done something bad? You're the best cook i know!" Killua says with a smile. Alluka smiles. "Onii-chan, you will always be honest with me. Right?" Killua's face drops in concern. "Always Alluka, you're the most important person ever to me." Alluka nods "Why are you upset? Please tell me, Onii-chan. I worry about you." Killua hesitates, debating whether or not to tell his sister what really happened. He didn't want to expose her to stuff like this. What he had done. He couldn't even see himself talking to her about it without getting angry. But he promised himself, that he would never get angry with Alluka around. But he couldn't lie to her either, "Something happened to a friend today. He did a really stupid thing. He just did something really, really stupid." al "What do you mean by stupid?" Killua sighed. "He got into a fight with a gang at school, he's in the hospital right now. His eye was cut during the fight, so he can't see out of it right now." "Onii-chan, was he fighting the "Spiders"?" Killua's mouth dropped "How do you know them?! You aren't supposed to know people like them ya know!" Alluka laughed "Onii-chan everyone knows them, girls in my class gawk over them. They never stop talking about them!" Killua chuckled, and started to eat another cookie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Killua closed his door and slide down against the door onto the floor. It was getting harder for Killua to stay together. The small amount of effort he could put forth for Alluka was only so much. So, when he was alone, he had nothing left for himself. No effort left, this is the longest he's ever had to go without his prescription. He didn't know if he could keep himself together long enough to wait it out until he got another paycheck. He could pick up extra shifts, but there were too many problems with that. For starters, he couldn't leave Alluka alone for too long, it made him feel like more of an awful brother than he already was. He also can't get himself out of bed in the morning, let alone try to work harder than he already if it was for Alluka instead of him, Killua would have already taken the shifts. He has yet to learn his own worth.

Killua stood up and laid down onto his bed, it creaked as he puts his whole body on it. He stared at the ceiling, hoping he would be able to get any, or at least some sleep. He could go days without sleep, but it was always awful. He would be tired, then energized, then he wouldn't sleep for days. Then the crash came. He would sleep for days at a time. It was always like this, even worse when he was off his meds. But now, being off of them for so long, started to drive Killua up the wall. At first it wasn't noticeable, he gave himself false security. Then it got worse, he wouldn't get out of bed, then he wouldn't eat, then the sleep problems. The only thing that kept Killua semi sane, was the reassuring thought that Alluka didn't know about his lack of meds. It still bothered him that she knew about his depression, but it was hard to make an excuse about why he took pills every morning, everyday. It was also hard to make excuses for his therapy appointments. But those stopped a long time ago. There was no way for Killua to ever budget his money enough to still pay his therapists bill. Killua didn't really mind, however, he was never the type of person to be able to talk easily. Killua knew that, but he didn't particularly care.

Eventually, Killua's eyes drifted shut and he was able to get a few hours sleep.

 **Hello Everyone! This is my very first Fanfic and I am sooo excited to be posting this! Please give me feedback! I would love to talk to you all! Thank you I hope you enjoy! See you next week! Love you all! 3**

 **XxMolly-DollyxX**


	2. Chapter 2

"Killua, Killua. You need to wake up. Your late!" Killua's eyes shot open and he debated with himself whether or not to ignore Alluka and stay in bed. Or get up and leave. But he couldn't make Alluka think he wasn't taking his pills. Not getting out of bed would happen without his pills. So Killua sluggishly got out of his bed. "Okay, okay I'm getting ready." Alluka hesitated, but then smiled and walked out of the room giving her brother privacy.

Killua got dressed, a plain white tee shirt, with a light blue plaid shirt open on top of it with the sleeves pulled up, and a pair of dark jeans that hugged his muscular legs. Killua has always had a slim figure, but had always been athletic, so most people believed he was very skinny, and weak. His pale skin didn't help those assumptions either. It wasn't until his second semester of his first year that people stopped assuming the young Zoldyck was skinny and frail. When changing into the school's gym uniform, people saw just how strong Killua really was. Maybe if he didn't have the muscle he did, he would be frail. But Killua Zoldyck has never been, physically weak. Mentally weak, definitely, physically? Never.

Killua snapped out of his thoughts when Alluka walked up behind him and was ready to go. Killua turned to her and smiled, "Are you ready to go? Do you have everything?" Alluka playfully rolled her eyes. "Yes I do, onii-chan. Don't worry about me so much." Killua smiled, "Sorry, for caring about my sister." They duo laughed before walking out of the front door of the apartment.

Alluka ran into a couple of friends on the way to school, Killua urged her to go and walk with them, to have fun. He watched her walk away and he smiled. Everyday he was grateful that he had done something right for once in his life. He was able to make Alluka happy. When she reached out to him, and explained she wasn't happy in her body, he was determined to make her happy. So he got a job, and worked to be able to support both himself and Alluka. When the treatments first started, Killua was a wreck, trying to figure out what things meant, where do pay people, who he had to pay, what things he had to do, what things Alluka still needed. But Alluka quickly shut him down, telling him that he didn't need to worry so much, and that everything would work out in the end. It was hard for Killua to adjust, he worried, about anything, everything. He still does, but at least now he knows, he can at least do one thing right, and the one thing he did right, will never be unhappy, not as long as Killua is around.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Killua? I'd appreciate if you didn't sleep through my class. Thanks." Killua lifted his head and nodded. It wasn't his first time getting caught sleeping in class. He usually did it when the he didn't get any sleep that night, when the demons wouldn't leave him alone. The demons are what Killua calls his own thoughts, they were demons who destroyed everything within Killua. Self esteem, emotion, happiness…. The demons were coming back, slowly but surely. Killua expected hat though. The demons never entirely left, but they were more manageable with his meds. But without them, his mind was a free playground for the demons to roam. It worried Killua, it worries him that eventually the urge will come back. They were always there, just like the demons, but the urges terrified Killua, only until he gave in to them. Then he was grateful for them. They soothed him, being able to suffer physical pain was easier than dealing with the mental pain. But the longer Killua chose to ignore his well being and needs, the worse he will become. Until one day, he decides to join the demons within himself.

Killua's phone buzzes in his pocket. He reaches under his desk to check it. It was from Leorio.

Hey. Kurapika is back at school today. He didn't end up getting suspended. Please just talk to him. Okay? He got into a fight yes, but u can't b made at him forever.

LP

Killua rolled his eyes, Leorio didn't understand why he was mad.

I'm not mad at him, I will talk to him. I'm mad that his dumb ass didn't listen when I said not to fight Uvo. His ass is lucky that he didn't get suspended.

KZ

~Buzz~

Yeah yeah. Okay then, then we all have lunch in our usual spot? Are you in?

LP

Yeah, I'm in. See u guys then. :P

KZ

Killua put his phone away and attempts to listen to the lesson. "Now, in the final chapter of the book. Fran wakes up and leaves the dragons lair. Choosing her fate , even after having the dream of what would happen if she did. She chose the selfish route. Then the book ends. Now I want to hear about what you all thought about the final chapter. Any volunteers to go first?" Ms. Biscuits says, while scanning the room for hands. Seeing that there weren't any, she calls on a boy by the name of Gon. "Gon, what did you think about the final chapter of Merninson?" Gon looks up, eyes glazed I thought. He sits up and takes a breath, trying to compose himself, and collect his thoughts. "Well, I don't believe Fran actually chose the selfish way. I think because Fran saw what happened if she left and decided to do it knowing what she had to do to make the others happy. I only thought this because throughout the book we learned that Fran doesn't do things without thinking it through. But she does take risks sometimes. Which makes me believe that this is a thought out risk. She wants to make everyone happy, because if she were to stay in the room. She would have suffered and the people outside would have eventually suffered too. It was a negative ending either way, so by taking the chance she tried to free everyone of their demons." Ms. Biscuit looked back at Gon stunned. "I don't think I could have explained that better, even if I tried. Excellent work Gon." Gon flashed a smile and tucked his head back down to his notebook. Killua was shocked at Gon's response. He hadn't looked at it like that. He was impressed with the boys answer. He was intrigued at the different way the boy looked at the book.

But little did Killua know, this wouldn't be the only time that Gon changed his perspective.

 **Hello Everyone! I am back! This is an early upload! But I will definitely still update this Wednesday! This is just an extra chapter because I was in the writing mood. Please leave a review! I would love to hear back from you all! It would make my day! Also leave any suggestions of what you want to see! Love you all!**

 **XxMollyDollyxX**


	3. Chapter 3

Killua walks down the hallway, ready to meet Leorio and Kurapika on the roof top. It was their usual place to hang out, since the first time they all met each other. Alluka sometimes joined them, but she usually hung out with her own friends. Kurapika  
/and Killua were very close, not that Killua wasn't close with Leorio, which he was. Kurapika just understood Killua better. Kurapika has been the only person that Killua has been able to talk to about his "problems". It was a complete accident  
/that Kurapika found out, but he found out regardless. They had both been in the same gym class, but Killua fell in the change room and his shorts went up, and Kurapika saw his thighs. That was how Kurapika found out about Killua's "guilty pleasure".  
/Kurapika didn't resent Killua because of it. He wanted to know what had happened, if Killua was okay with talking about it. At first, Killua didn't talk and ignored it until he finally gave into the blonde headed boy. It was miraculous how he was  
able

to talk to the blonde about it and not be judged. It was relieving for Killua to be able to talk about it. It was very reassuring, to have a friend like Kurapika. As Kurapika coaxed Killua into talking, he would try and talk about himself, his parentshad  
both been murdered in front of him. So his mind, in Killua's words was just as messed up as his. Which in some aspects it was, but it was something Kurapika learned to live with. Killua, well Killua is still learning how to live what he's

been through.

"Hey! Your Killua right?" Killua's thoughts were interrupted when a spiky headed boy with dark black hair walks up to him and smiles. His smile radiating around the room, his white teeth standing out from his sun kissed skin. Killua swears the

boy must have been kissed by a sun god. Gon clears his throat, Killua stops his staring and a hard blush spreads across pale skin. Killua realized he was staring too long "Oh, I, uh, yeah i'm Killua. Your, uh… Gon right?" Gon nods "Yeah!

I'm Gon. I was wondering if you wanted to come eat lunch with me?" Killua's mind raced, 'Have lunch with him? I barely know this guy! Why would he want to hang out with me? I'm boring! Messed up! I'm like a time bomb ready to go off!'

" Hey are you okay Killua? You like blanked out…. Do you need a hug?" Killua's eyebrow furrowed, "No i do not, thank you very much. How do you not get embarrassed saying that stuff? I barely know you!" Gon smiles sheepishly.

"Well, then get to know me! Come have lunch with me!" "I don't have a choice, do I?" Killua asks. "Nope!" Gon lets out with a laugh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Killua and Gon sat in front of the school, separated from the other students sitting outside of it. "So is today your first day? I've never seen you in class before." Gon laughs "No, i've been here since the beginning of the year. You probably

never noticed me because that's the only class we have together, and you never pay attention to the people around you in class." Killua's face turned red, "W-why the hell do you watch me in class?" "Well who wouldn't? Your pale

skin, the way your eyes sparkle when you're happy, Killua have you looked at yourself in the mirror? It's kind of hard not to." Killua's blush spreads down to his neck. "I-i… How do you not get embarrassed saying that stuff! It's weird!"

"I don't know, i don't get embarrassed i guess. Especially not around friends, like Killua!" "Friends? Gon, i don't even know you!" "You can get to know me! I can say a whole lot about myself! Does Killua want me to talk about

myself?" Killua sighs defeated, "Sure Gon, talk about you-" ~Ring~

Gon sighs "Well i'll talk to you later, i'll text you. Okay?" Killua nods "Sure, talk to you later." Killua lays back onto the grass, he had a spare period, which he should probably be using for studying for the end of year exams.

But at this point he has too much going on to concentrate on crap he doesn't care about.

'Did, i just make a friend? Well, i mean that's a first. I only have 2 friends. Now i have a 3rd, i think that's progress.'

Killua smiled to himself, he was happy to have Gon as a friend, he was funny, outgoing, athletic, happy, a ray of freaking sunshine in Killua's dark world. Gon was also handsome, he was toned, his face was gorgeous, and when he smiled it was impossible  
/not to smile with him. It was one of the first times Killua has talked to someone without feeling anxious whether or not they liked him as a friend or not. It was a free flowing conversation. But the one thing Killua didn't realize was how hard he  
/was falling for Gon.

Killua checked his phone and saw text messages from Leorio.

Hey where are you? I thought we were eating lunch in the usual spot?"

LP

Killua seriously where are you? Kurapika's worried that something happened. You know how he is, answer pls.

LP

Killua sighed, he completely forgot to tell them where he was. He felt bad for worrying Kurapika, he does know what Kurapika is like. One time Killua fell asleep as soon as he got home, and Kurapika tried calling him multiple times but because he didn't  
/answer. So Kurapika drove to his apartment to find out what happened. Long story short, Kurapika was happy he was okay. But he was beyond pissed Killua made him worry.

Sorry about that, I was then got distracted and had lunch with a guy i met in class. Tell Kurapika not to worry.

KZ

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So then we raced down the hill and then he hugged me! Then he asked me to the end of the year dance! He did Onii-chan! He really did!" Alluka said happily.

"If he ditches you at the dance, tell me, then i will hunt him down and leave him in a ditch." Killua says with a stern face. "Onii-chan! Be nice! He's a nice guy! There's nothing to worry about! What about you Onii-chan? Is there someone

you're going to go to the dance with? And don't tell me you're not going, because you are. I want you to be happy!" Killua looked back at Alluka glumly, "Alluka, i am happy! But, i'm probably not going to go to the dance anyway. They're

usually really boring, and i'm not interested in anyone anymore an-" "Anymore!? Who WERE you interested in Oniichan?!" Alluka shouts with a smile. Killua silently shames himself for his lack of thinking, because he knew it was impossible

for him to lie to her. She knew him too well. "W-well, there was this guy today and his name is Gon and we had lunch together and then he started complimenting me, a-and. Agh Alluka i can't do this, It's too embarrassing!" Alluka smirks,

"If you say sooo." Killua's face goes red once again that day. "I-i'm going to bed! Goodnight Alluka i love you." Alluka smiles and nods, "I love you too Oniichan!"

Killua flopped onto his bed, and rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. It was weird, having someone compliment you. How does someone look at you and see amazing things, but you look at yourself, and all you see is a disgusting and revolting  
/sight. Gon was probably lying, he just wanted to talk to Killua, and then hurt him. Just to mess with him. Why else would he talk to Killua? Why would anyone want to talk to someone like him? He always knew he was useless, but he tried his best to  
/push his feelings aside. He was raised to not have feelings, boys don't cry. Killua's eyes began to flutter shut, until he was overcome with a wave of exhaustion, and soon with that, came sleep.

"Killua you know that boys don't cry, especially when their hurt." The masked figure grabbed Killua's upper arm and forced him into the wall. Killua's head collided with the drywall in his living room. The masked figures smirk turned upwards

even further then before, Killua didn't think it was possible for the smile to grow any bigger but it did. The figure was enjoying ramming Killua's small head through a wall. The boys silver white hair was encrusted with bits of drywall and paint  
/chips. It almost looked as though the boy walked through a cherry tree farm in the winter, with the bright white dust and pink paint chips littered throughout his head, but that cruel dream, was the thoughts Killua made up, instead of believing the  
/twisted reality. All Killua wanted was for the pain to stop. But it was the life Killua was born into. Everything that was happening around him, was all of his fault, for ever being born. The figure picked up the now limp boy and smacked him, yanking  
/his arm so hard the boy stumbled onto his feet. Killua thought it was time fo-

~Beep~

Killua woke up in cold sweat and turned to his phone. The small device was beeping, that was the default setting for a text message. Killua's shaky hand reached for the phone and lifted it.

Hey! It's Gon! I was wondering if tomorrow you wanted to eat lunch with me again? I know it's a little late and i have no idea if you're asleep or not, but are you up for it? It's okay if you're not i understand lol.

GF

Killua smiles, before replying.

Yeah sure. Same place as yesterday? Front of the school?

KZ

~Beep~

"Yeah! Awesome! I'll see you then. :)

GF

Killua smiled to himself, maybe things would be different this time. Maybe Gon is different.

 **Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please leave a review! I am still waiting to see what you all think about this fic! Just for a quick reference, I understand that self harm and depression are touchy topics for some people, but I personally have dealt with and are dealing with both, so please keep in mind, that I am writing both from my experiences and through Killua's own story. So please! Keep this in mind! Selfharm and depression are not easy topics, I am in no way shape or form taking this lightly.**

 **Thanks again! Love you all! Please review! Until next week!**

 **XxMollyDollyxX**


	4. Chapter 4

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy this week's chapter! I know I enjoyed writing it! ;) I'll talk more at the end, go! Read go go!

Killua walked down the schools crowded hallways, trying to find the spiky haired teen from yesterday. It was weird for Killua, trying to find someone that wasn't Kurapika or Leorio. He smiled at the thought, 'maybe I'm spreading my wings. That's a good thing right? Making friends? I'm pretty sure it is.'

~Beep~

Killua was snapped out of his thoughts when his phone rang of a notification. He looked down and read the message.

Hey! I got out of class early so I'm already outside. We're still on for lunch right?

GF

Killua rolled his eyes with a smirk before replying.

Jheez your making this sound like a date :p Yeah I'll meet you outside, I'll be there in a Sec.

KZ

Killua placed the phone back into his pocket before heading to the front of the school.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Killua welcomed the new environment of the front of the school as he walked over to the other teen waiting for him. As Killua approached, Gon turned around, most likely hearing Killua approach him, "KILUUA!" Gon let out with a happy yell. Before Killua could hiss out a comment about the yelling he was tackled to the ground. Umph-

"Jesus Gon, what are you doing?" Gon beamed "I missed you! I couldn't help myself!" Killua blushed before pushing the tanned teen off of him with a hard shove, "How the hell do you say stuff like that so seriously?!" Gon let out a hardy laugh. "It's just my personality!" "Yeah, yeah whatever." Killua sat up and noticed his shorts rolled up. With alarming eyes he reached to pull down his shorts, luckily Gon wasn't looking and he yanked his shorts back down.

"Do you have any plans this weekend Killua?" Gon asked, Killua looked at Gon's eyes and his face went red. "Why does it matter to you?" "Because we're friends! I want to know if Killua wants to hang out with me!" "I'm free, but I don't go out on the weekends, I stay home to make sure my sister is okay." Gon's face dropped, "Is your sister okay?" "Yeah, she's fine. I just make sure that's she's home safe if she goes out with her friends." Gon's face lit up, "So you are free! You don't have to leave your house if you don't want to! I can come over, I'll even ask my Aunt Mito to make us lunch! She's an amazing chef." The young Zoldyck smiled, "Sure, yeah that'd be fun. I'll text you my address." "Great! Is there anything you don't eat?" Killua chuckled, maybe he really had made a new friend.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

"Killua! Get your ass over here now!" Killua skidded to a stop and turned with a sheepish grin. "Hey you guys!" Killua let out with a shy laugh. "You have some serious explaining to do Killua." Kurapika let out with a huff, Leorio nodding in agreement. "Explanation for what?" Killua said dumbly. "You sure as hell better not be playing dumb Killua Zoldyck-" "Fine fine, i'm sorry I ditched you guys yesterday and today. I met this guy and we started having lunch and We had lunch again today-" Killua was interrupted when he saw the look on his best friends faces, "What the hell is wrong with you two?" Leorio reached over and hugged Killua with all of his might "Killua! You met a guy! Oh i'm so happy!" Killua pushed Leorio off flabbergasted, "We aren't dating! We're friends!" "The blush on your face says otherwise Killua." Kurapika said with a smirk. Killua waved them off grumbling and began walking away. "We want details on Monday Killua!" The boys both called down the hall. Killua rushed to his locker to grab his things and go home. 'Today has been a weird ass day, jheez.'

Killua walked into his apartment and was met with silence when he walked into the apartment. Which was to be expected, Alluka was at school practicing for her school's musical, she was playing one of the main roles in Greece. Killua would walk down to her school to pick her up later, he wouldn't let her walk home alone, especially with the creeps that crawl around at night. Killua flopped onto the couch staring at the ceiling, he was tracing the cracks in the ceiling with his eyes.

Killua woke up and was met with his back to the ground and his body covered in glass and splinters. Illumi had put him through the glass, that wasn't a first. It always happened when Killua asked questions about his mother and father. "Killua why must you ask questions about them? They are gone, they have a business to run. They can't baby you all the time. I am your caregiver, mother and father don't care about you, dammit!" That was when Killua had been thrown through the glass coffee table. His head hurt, his body hurt, he was lying in his blood and glass, and he couldn't move. Not until Illumi left, until then, Killua could look at the cracks on the ceiling.

Killua's body froze at the memory, Killua couldn't move and his chest tightened. 'Illumi isn't here Killua, he isn't here.' The boy chanted to himself, this wasn't the first time this had happened to the young Zoldyck. Killua had experienced these attacks before, they always varied in how long it took for him to get out of such a state. It would take mere minutes if Alluka had been there, she would say soothing words, then Killua would thank her, then apologize and lock himself in his room. When she was gone, it felt like hours would go by before he was out of trance. Today, he hoped he would be lucky.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Killua and Alluka walked down the dark street, making their way back home. "Onii-chan, can I go to the mall with my friends on Saturday?" Killua smiled, "Of course you can Alluka." "Thank you Onii-chan!" "Oh yeah, before I forget, i'm having a friend over on Saturday, is that okay with you Alluka?" Alluka laughed "Of course it is! I love Kurapika and Leorio! Are we all going to have dinner again?" "Oh, uh actually, it's a different friend Alluka, his name is Gon. He's coming over on Saturday." Alluka's face lit up "Can i meet him!? Onii-chan made a new friend! Do you like him Onii-chan? Do you?!" Killua's jaw dropped, "Why does everyone think Gon and I are dating? Jheez!" "Because we can all see the dreamy eyes you make when you mention him and the blush you have when I mention you liking him. Does he make you happy Onii-chan?" "Alluka i'm being serious, Gon and I are only friends, and there are no feelings between us. Honest" Alluka sighed "If you say so Onii-chan." "Oh trust me, I am saying it Alluka."

Saturday afternoon quickly approached and Alluka had already left with her friends and promised to be back soon. Now Killua was just waiting for Gon.

Knock Knock

'Speak of the bloody devil' Killua thought with a smirk. Killua stood up and opened the door, sure enough a smiling Gon was standing there with a stupid smirk holding up a paper bag that smelt amazing. "Hey Killua! I brought food! My aunt Mito was happy to cook for us! She says Hello as well!" "Oh she didn't have to do that, tell her thanks for me." Killua moved out of the doorway motioning for Gon to come in. Killua sat at the small dinning chair and Gon sat with him. As Killua unpacked the bag of its contents, Gon hummed happily. Killua handed Gon his food and Gon thanked him. The two boys made small talk, asking about each other's day, the weather, favourite sports, etc. It felt like only a few minutes had passed by but an hour and a half flew by. "Killua, can I ask you something?" Killua looked at Gon hesitantly, curious to his sudden question asking. "Do you want to play truth or dare with me?" Killua sighed, "I guess, just don't get weird like you usually do." "hey! I don't go weird!" "Baha, yes you do Baka." "Ugh, just pick, truth or dare Killua." "Uh truth….."

"Are you interested in boys?"

Killua went wide eyed, "What the hell kind of question is that!?" "A genuine one." Killua went fifty shades of red before answering. "Uh i wouldn't say i'm not interested in boys, love is love i guess." Gon smiled "Okay, your turn!" "Truth or dare?" Killua let out with a huff. "Dare!" Killua took a moment to think of a dare. "Uhhh, run down the middle of the hallway yelling 'My dog has a spot on it! My god I think it's sick!' " Killua laughed at the face Gon made. "Fine, i'll do it." Gon stood up from the dining room table and walked to Killua's door. Gon swung the door open and ran down the hallway. "My god! MY DOG HAS A SPOT! I THINK IT'S SICK!" Killua leaned forward in laughter as Gon ran back into his apartment his chest heaving and slamming the door. "Dude, your neighbour looked pissed." Killua laughed even louder and doubled over.

After Killua calmed down and Gon sat back down at the table with a water bottle in hand, they proceeded with the game. "Okay Killua, Truth or dare?" "Truth, i'm not embarrassing myself." Killua said while laughing behind his hand, which was over his mouth muffling his laugh. "Hmmm, okay. Will you be honest with me? We're friends, right?" Killua's face paled and he visibly flinched, "Y-yeah." Gon hesitated, debating on whether or not to ask the question. He took a breath before speaking, "I saw your thighs yesterday when I tackled you, Killua, i just want to know. Do you or, did you self harm Killua?" Killua's body froze, 'He saw'. Killua's chest tightened and he was frozen. Gon noticing the lack of answer from Killua, got his answer. "Killua, its okay. I'm not mad, i'm not disgusted. I just want you to know that i'm here for you. No matter what." Gon leaned over to Killua and pulled his stiff body into a hug. "You're lying." Killua whispered, "Everyone's always mad, why are you lying?" "Killua i'm not lying, please believe me." Killua's body shook and tears threatened to spill, Gon lifted Killua's chin. "Let me show you how serious i am." Gon leaned forward and tears spilled from Killua's sapphire blue eyes and he trembled. Gon pressed his lips against Killua's, at first Killua was shocked. But the longer Gon's mouth was there, Killua slowly sunk into the kiss. His chest, stirring and he leaned further into the kiss deepening it. Gon leaned in and relished in Killua's taste and feel. Killua didn't realize how much he needed this. The act made Killua know that Gon was there for him. He was willing to be his anchor. Killua opened his mouth and poked Gon's mouth with his tongue asking for entrance. Gon opened his mouth and both boys fought for dominance. Gon winning, both boys continued their battle until both their lungs had filled to capacity and they disconnected for breath.

 _Cough_ _Cough_

Killua turned his head to where the noise was coming from. Alluka stood in the door way with shopping bags in hand. "Hi Onii-chan, who's your friend?" Alluka let out with a laugh. Killua's face went a bright red.

Oh shit.

Hello everyone! I hoped you enjoyed this extra long chapter! Please leave a review! Also, on a side note, would any of you readers like to see the original draft of "HITH"? I'll post it on Saturday if you do as a bonus chapter. Just let me know in a review or PM me. Love you all! See you next week! Please review!

XxMollyDollyxX


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